In the lead up to the epic battle of Portland, Oregon in 2013, which we won by a vote of 61% to 39% despite being massively outspent, it came to my attention that Portland band The Dandy Warhols were publicly opposed to forced fluoridation. I’ve written a version of their song Not If You Were the Last Junkie on Earth in tribute to their stand for human rights, and that of all Portland’s activists on the issue.

Not If You Were the Last Spiker on Earth

I never thought you’d be a spiker because poisoning is so passé.
But today, now you think that they don’t know about religion and devotional pay,
Happy days, but you’re a fool who hasn’t stopped preaching to the corporate slaves,
Fluoride saves, can’t you help but feel responsible, despite the fact that you are insane,
Causing pain? But I never thought you’d be a spiker because poisoning is so passé, hey.

Poisoning is so passé, hey.
Poisoning is so passé, hey, hey.
Aaaah

So passé nowadays.
You never thought you’d get arrested, just be richer in a devious way
Praise the day, shouldn’t you have got a better lawyer and decided maybe you would not say,
Fluoride saves? Can’t you help but feel responsible, despite the fact that you are insane,
Causing pain? But I never thought you’d be a spiker because poisoning is so passé, hey.

Poisoning is so passé, hey.
Poisoning is so passé, hey, hey.
Ah ah ah ah, aaah, aaah, aaaah
Ah ah ah ah, aaah, aaah, aaaah
Ah ah ah ah, aaah, aaaaaaah

Poisoning is so passé, hey.
Poisoning is so passé, hey
Poisoning is so passé, hey, hey.
Ah ah ah ah, aaah, aaah, aaaah,
Ah ah ah ah, aaah, aaah, aaaah,
hey hey hey hey heyyy, heyyy, heyyyyy