An ode to fluoridation by Fluorida Foulup

One of my contacts infiltrated Forced-fluoridation Inc, and found the following text scrawled on a roll of toilet paper in the chairman’s office. Be warned, Fluorida is one seriously sick puppy.

Hello world. I am Fluorida Foulup, Chairman of the Board at Forced-fluoridation Inc. I have a community service announcement for you, in the form of a song. It’s called An Ode to Fluoridation. I hope you like it. I do.

An Ode to Fluoridation
There’s no ifs, buts, or maybes,
I love harming babies.
Getting them young,
Is so much fun.
Now don’t be gettin bitter,
Your little critter should’ve been fitter.

I love propaganda,
I love toxic waste.
I especially love fluoride,
And not just in toothpaste.
I love it in your water,
And if ya don’t ya oughtta,
Coz toxic waste is ace!

Nevermind lifelong fluorosis,
I’ll keep blaming your neurosis.
It’s such an audacious stance,
I’m creaming in my pants.
I am frequently relieved,
The big lies are still believed.

I love propaganda,
I love toxic waste.
I especially love fluoride,
And not just in toothpaste.
I love it in your water,
And if ya don’t ya oughtta,
Coz toxic waste is ace!

It’s straight from the factory scrubber,
Like being raped without a rubber.
No matter your age,
Nobody’s safe,
That’s what’s so great,
You’ll get cancer – can’t wait!

It was great to be alive,
In 1945.
When the sea parted,
And it all started.
Fluoridation outdated?
It’s atomic bomb-plated!

I love propaganda,
I love toxic waste.
I especially love fluoride,
And not just in toothpaste.
I love it in your water,
And if ya don’t ya oughtta,
Coz toxic waste is ace!

I don’t always have it my way.
Lost another ballot today.
Paul Connett is gay.
The people must obey!
Need more lies to set them straight.
There must be no debate.

I’ve got a confession to make.
Our so-called science is fake.
Hey, for fuck’s sake,
Give me a break,
Coz it’s a damn fine racket,
Selling poison saves us a packet.

I love propaganda,
I love toxic waste.
I especially love fluoride,
And not just in toothpaste.
I love it in your water,
And if ya don’t ya oughtta,
Coz toxic waste is ace!

Those who are fastidious,
Say fluoride is insidious,
In nature and human beings,
And yes, that’s right, it means,
You can run, but you can’t hide,
My smile’s a mile wide.

I love propaganda,
I love toxic waste.
I especially love fluoride,
And not just in toothpaste.
I love it in your water,
I’m violating your daughter.
Just swallow, and shut your face!

deranged